Like a Man

Ciara's song: Like a Boy
Beyonce's Song: If I were a Boy

Women have always had an obsession with wanting to become a man (or a boy). Every fall season, there is a new "masculine" look dominated by suits, grey trousers, and wide shoulders. Mulan disguised herself as a man in order to stand up for her family. Female geniuses such as the Bronte sisters, Louisa May Alcott, Nelle Harper Lee, and even Harry Potter's own Joanne Rowling used men pen names to publish their works.
I hear women wishing, "If I had a d*** for a day. I'd show them." What, we can't stand up for ourselves without one?

I have stressed in the past the importance of signifying female role models. That history courses in the educational system include "herstory" curricula as well. I have had the fortune of growing up with amazing women around me. My mother received her MBA while pregnant with me, my sister is a recognized vicious fencer, and I have learned so much from my current boss (also female).

I'm not a crazy feminist an no, I don't burn my bras. But, as an appreciative daughter older sister, an possibly a future mother, I can't help but wish at times women (including me) would have more courage to go after their dreams and stand up for what's right.

Why do women rely on their sex appeal to get their way? If you use your intelligence or aggressive persistence (like men), people perceive you a a cold-hearted beast instead of a go-getter. Even women judge other women the same way! I know too many girls who consciously make an effort to look prettier, or pull their shirts down and skirts higher when meeting with male clients, or bosses. Is it a lack of self-confidence about our abilities or is it a societal issue as a whole? Our perception of self worth should not be determined by the sexual attention we get. Makes sense... So, why do women continue to actively seek and provoke it?

The blame extends to men as well. If it weren't for their constant interest in purely physical attractiveness perhaps women wouldn't try so hard. Come on, how many relationships have lasted solely based on looks?

1 in 3 South Korean women get plastic surgery. Sharp increase from 1 in 5 since 2005. This was a consequence of women not being hired in the work place if too ugly, or too fat. No matter how impressive their academic resume was. Their marriage, career, and societal status depended on the way they looked. Now that all of the women are becoming increasingly attractive in this country, they have become the judges of men's worth. Today, the percentage of men receiving plastic surgery and going on diets have skyrocketed in Korea due to their inability to get a girlfriend. I'm not promoting going under the knife. In fact, I am highly against it. However, I cannot believe it took this drastic of a change in the community of South Korean women to come out on top.

I've learned that self-confidence is not just based off of the things you are good at, but also recognizing your flaws and accepting you just don't know certain things.
"When you've come into your own as a woman, there's a real presence, and that shows" - Aymeline Valade.

Becoming your own as a woman includes experiencing hardships, failure, joy, pleasure, and recognizing yourself independently from external context.

I don't know where this post is going. It's turning a little too much like Carrie Bradshaw's Sex and the City article for my taste (another show about women I despise). I've thought about posting this for a long time, but continued to edit it. Not because it's a fine piece of writing (obviously) but because I did not want this to seem like I am criticizing other women, or ignoring the feelings and mentality of men. Please don't take any offense, but I challenge you to truly think about it.

I'll leave it here for now.